The Domestic Yapoo – Chapter 2.2


The cunnilinger regained consciousness at the kick. It felt the seething anger of its mistress vividly through its telepathic nerve centre and prostrated itself on the floor, shrinking its limbs and affecting an air of fear. Two hollows in the shape of footprints could be seen on its exposed back.

It’s here I feel I must explain in more detail about the cunnilinger’s telepathy. Telepaths were first created in the 30th century AD and would be an unfamiliar concept to any readers in the 20th century.

Telepaths are just one of the many kinds of living furniture. Living furniture is furniture made using the flesh of yapoo as raw materials. What made this process possible was the invention of the circulator. This will be explained later (in chapter 6.2) but in general all yapoo have a parasitic helminth called an ascaris pegasus in their body. It assists in digestion and can turn even the worst filth that makes up yap milk into nourishment. In the case of a circulator, regular feeding is necessary. The average yapoo can feed itself so this is fine. But when individuality or mobility has been taken from a yapoo so that it can be used as furniture, it becomes the duty of the user to feed it. To eliminate this inconvenience, circulation was thought up. The yapoo body is essentially the same as a human body and nutrition is absorbed via the folds of the small intestine. Therefore a tube is inserted from outside the body, connected to a point in the small intestines and yap milk of varying composition is poured in that can be digested and absorbed with the help of the helminth.  The waste liquid that is left after absorption is directed outside the body via another tube connected at the end of the small intestine. Ureter from the urinary bladder also joins up with this tube and the liquids are evacuated together. In this way, both the acts of feeding and excreting become independent of the body. The oral cavity, tongue and stomach are divorced from their original purposes and can be employed for other functions.

Together these two tubes – the entrance and exit tubes – take on the appearance of a cord you might see attached to an electrical appliance, and are installed by insertion into the anus. Yapoo who are equipped in this way are fit for use as living furniture and their survival is dependent on that cord. They are left in rooms – having all the necessities of life provided for them – and wait upon the whims of their masters.

Living furniture have no mobility – they are able to be moved and their cord plugged into a different outlet like an electrical appliance but their own movements are limited by the length of their cord – but their individual awareness is not necessarily lost. One step further from this state are the telepaths who have had their physical and mental independence taken from them. Explanations in later chapters (Chapter 24.3) will explain why it is that telepathising raw yapoo such as pantie that have individual independence is more trouble than it’s worth; living furniture, on the other hand, have a milky liquid continuously circulating through their bodies which makes it easier for them to work. Speaking of which, yap animals (including raw yapoo) that have not been made into furniture or material and thus have individuality and mobility are called persona to differentiate them from the servers whose work mostly involves labour (like transport yaps) and the pantie who wait upon their master’s routine tasks (like yap dogs). Between persona and furniture there are also those called biocompatible furniture (like setteen). Pantie, according to S. McLean’s “Historial Investigation into Etymology”, are named for the similarity with the word “panty”, an item which takes care of one’s personal, intimate business.

The living furniture cord is applied for four dimensional operation and so it is not normally seen by people. In this case it only became visible because the equipment was damaged in the crash.

Liquids from a specific person – the most commonly used is urine, though blood, lymph fluid, etc also work – are collected and put through the reproducer which manufactures and replenishes liquid of a similar quality while mixing it with a milky liquid. Ordinarily the liquid is introduced via the small intestine along with an injection of telepirmone (telepathy + hormone) into a determined area of the cerebrum – the rear section of the thalamus. If this is done, it will produce a nerve centre that allows yapoo with high IQ to be able to receive other people’s thoughts as brain waves.

When the specific person’s bodily fluids enters the yapoo’s bloodstream via absorption through the small intestine, they will become able to receive that specific person’s brain waves. In order to preserve this mind reading ability, that liquid usually has to be mixed with the milky liquid. Due to reproducers the human only has to provide a sample once.

The self-consciousness of furniture is extinguished when they are made telepathic. Latent memories can be left behind but independent thought and actions are incompatible with that state of being. Their emotional individuality is stripped from their body and they become an extension of their master. Once a telepathic link is established between a yapoo and its master, it cannot be eliminated or its object changed to another owner. EHS’s brainwave science has not been able to make this possible. These yapoo are completely spiritually dependent on their owner and die along with them – no, their bodies may not die, but they become demented and of no use to any other human. They follow their master to the grave. That is the life of a telepath.

The IQ necessary to imbue a yapoo with telepathy is at least 150. Yapoo who had been scholars and professors were selected for their pedigree and bred to produce yapoo with high IQs. Yapoo produced in this way are sold with papers at the markets especially for the purpose of making into telepaths.

However, having said that, not everyone can use a telepath. Only nobles are able. Legally, plebs are prohibited from using telepaths as per the Raw Yapoo Manufacture Control Law. However, even more fundamentally, they are not able to physically use them. Those in the twentieth century with their primitive understanding of brainwave science may not comprehend the following but every human thought has a characteristic pattern. For example, waves of anger, love or commands are all distinct. Of these three, the order wave, as it is called, in connected to the use of telepaths. Those with an OQ (order quotient) of less than 100 are unable to control telepaths no matter how sensitive the telepath is. Only nobles possess OQs over 100. Only nobles have genetically high OQs. Strictly speaking, the cause of this is a genetic mutation but children of noble birth with low OQs are demoted to plebs according to the Aristocratic Laws of the Empire. On the other hand, pleb children with an OQ over 100 can be conferred with a low aristocratic rank if they can meet some other conditions. In other words, strong order waves are the most important requirement when it comes to EHS’s nobility. This also guarantees the physiological and biological security of the EHS aristocracy which is dependent on caste.

When surrounded by living furniture, one doesn’t have to lift a finger. With a single thought, all your business is taken care of, providing a very comfortable life for the owner. Since the dawn of history, only the aristocracy of EHS have been able to enjoy such a pleasant life as this.


This cunnilinger was just one type of these telepathic furniture, but this one had been specially ordered and made for Pauline Jansen’s use (On EHS, the aristocrat’s manor economy and the commoner’s market economy were strangely combined. However, in the case of those from the upper echelons of the aristocracy, it was common for them to have all their items made bespoke). When she had learnt of her pregnancy from the Annunciator (chapter 28.1), she had immediately decided to go to the family’s villa on Earth, not even one month since conception. “I want you to make me a cunny that doubles as a stool.” Pauline, being of the aristocracy, felt no shame talking about a cunnilinger for her personal use with the factory manager who was a pleb and an employee. It was only with people of her own rank that shyness took over.

“I’ll be travelling with it so it needs to be compact, but it also needs to work better than your average cunnilinger. Can you manage that?”

“Of course. We’ll keep the length the same. If my memory serves me correctly,” he consulted his diary, “yours is 25cm all up, with the tongue’s outer length being 19cm.”

“The chin on the one I’m currently using sticks out but I want my new one to be a little smaller. I think I’ll mostly be using it while I’m sitting where I’m going and I don’t want to have to spread my legs too widely.”

“Understandable. I’ll have the chin filed down.”

“Also, I get very wet when I’m turned on…”

She was able to speak so openly to him because plebs had no sense of shame.

“I’ll take that into consideration. I’ll increase the amount of sponge in the tongue.”

“Make sure it has telepathy.”

“Certainly. And when would you be departing?”

“About 2 weeks from now.”

“Very good. Well then, if you wouldn’t mind choosing one immediately…”

“Go to the raw yapoo hold and choose a dozen or so that you think might be suitable. Then I’ll take a look at them on the 3D catalogue and decide from there.”

Two weeks was a very short amount of time considering the amount of labour it would take to create the cunnilinger. Chromosome operation techniques were quite developed by this time and so it wouldn’t have been difficult to biotechnologically manufacture a body to her specifications by manipulating the nucleic acid in the sperm and ovum prior to fertilisation. However, this took at least a year to complete. Time being of the essence, the only option was to manufacture a cunnilinger from a raw yapoo using plastic surgery.

From the contenders that the factory manager picked, Pauline chose the one currently cowering at her feet. The raw yapoo had been born misshapen and of dwarf-like proportions but had possessed a solid body and a superior brain, its IQ being 174. According to its pedigree, every one of its ancestors had been a professor in the country of Japan’s universities. It was also top class in its dedication to the Jansen family.

“This one. It looks robust and has a good pedigree…”

“A fine choice. We’ll have it ready for you in 10 days’ time.”

And thus was its fate sealed. When it was taken from the raw yapoo hold it was told it was to become a cunny for the young mistress. Tears of gratitude streaked down its face. This display of sentimentality was lost on the technicians at the factory. To them, raw yapoo were nothing more than the construction material needed to produce a cunnilinger. Once the yapoo was castrated, it was reduced to half its size using the diminishing machine (chapter 9.3). Next it was soaked in liquid medicine to make all its hair fall out. All of its teeth were removed and its jawbone shaved down. As per the young mistress’ orders, the lower half of its face was narrowed so that she wouldn’t have to open her legs so widely when she used it. The oral cavity was simply a vessel for its tongue. That tongue had to be made into a penis tongue. Firstly it was enlarged using a flesh growing stimulant and then erectile tissue was transplanted onto the tongue. This erectile tissue had been taken from the penis that had been severed prior to the yapoo’s reduction. The part of the tongue that protruded beyond the lips when it was extended, i.e. the part that would be inserted into the young mistress’ body, needed to be 19cm long. Additionally, the outside of the lips and the inside of the mouth had to be imbued with suction and sponge properties respectively so that the mistress’ love juices would not spill from the oral cavity while the tongue was in use. These modifications were easily produced using artificial cancroid technology. Outwardly, the tongue would only appear to swell up slightly. Then both lips would be closed by the hymen. Eyesight was also reduced to about 20 dioptres by increasing pressure on the crystalline lens of the eye. This was because the cunny was restricted in its movements by the cord it was connected to and needed only to see the lower half of its owner to be able to do its work. Hearing was unnecessary to telepaths so the eardrums were removed. The nose and ears were cut off for the same reason all body hair was removed: to make the whole head pleasantly smooth with no protuberances. The technicians didn’t want the young mistress to be distracted by any unpleasantness such as those when she was using the cunny. Stools always crawled, never stood upright, and so both ankles were amputated. Pauline’s footprint had been provided to the factory. They placed this on the yapoo’s back where they had injected a steroid to cause the flesh to thicken beforehand and then stripped off the back flesh to make a place for Pauline to lay her feet. When all of these physical procedures had been completed, then came the telepathising. As per the method explained previously, Pauline’s urine (nobles always kept some on hand to be used for this purpose) was added to yap milk and used…

Just like that, a yapoo possessing of a human-like body and above average intelligence was reborn as a stool cunny in 10 days for the use of the House of Jansen’s young wife. As was usual for a telepath, it was handed over to her without even a name. That was about 3 weeks prior.

Since then it had been used as a stool during the day and as a cunny at night by Pauline on her travels. It understood its mistress’ every mood, but it had never felt her anger like it did on that day.

Clara and Rin’ichirou didn’t understand the feelings of the cowering cunny. No, they didn’t even know what is was. What on earth could the hollow in the little thing’s back be? And who was this woman? Where had this UFO been made? In England or America? Or perhaps the Soviet Union? At any rate, it probably wasn’t a weapon or a woman wouldn’t have been piloting it. The questions posed by their current circumstances were endless. However, Rin’ichirou realised his nakedness once more and remained sitting, looking up at the woman instead of having the courage to stand. She was focused on Clara who was standing behind him.

The woman’s clothing should have surprised them. A cape hung down her back but her front was only covered by something that resembled a swimsuit. It clung closely to the body and looked more like a seamless heavenly garment. The floor was coloured a light blue but a mysterious phantom rainbow light shone from the corners of her eyes.

All this bewitching beauty but it was the mere sight of her gorgeous, slender legs that ensnared Rin’ichirou. The feet that rested not even 40cm before his eyes seemed to be carved from ivory with a thin dusting of soft, golden hair covering them. Rin’ichirou knew his head was all a mess. That’s when he heard a dog howling again.

“It still stings a little. You hit me fairly hard.” The jewel in her ring glittered as Pauline gently stroked her cheek, smiling at the young woman in the riding habit. “…But it was a good idea. I admire your quick thinking.”

“Oh, it wasn’t me who thought of it. It was Rin… Mister Sebe here…” Clara said, flustered by the praise but pointing out Rin’ichirou.

Titles like mister were never used with yapoo: they were without names, given or family. With hindsight, it was baffling that Pauline hadn’t realised her error even after hearing the yapoo called something as strange as “Mister Sebe”. Thinking he was no more than a pantie, Pauline ran her eyes over Rin’ichirou. “Hm, this yapoo is a rare beauty. Would you consider selling it to me? I’d love to train it up and enter it in next year’s pantie show. I’ve got my eyes on the Sirius Grand Prix.”

Unable to hold her tongue any longer, Clara spoke up: “Er, I don’t think I quite understand what you’re saying…” but Pauline had never been one to give up bargaining without a fight.

“Oh, how like me to start prattling on before even asking you name. I’m so sorry. I hope I haven’t offended you…”

“I was actually referring to Mr Sebe…”

“Why are we standing around talking? Let’s sit.”

Chapter 2.3


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